I Don't Even Know Your Last Name, But Let's Hook Up! : Teen Relationships
Posted: Wednesday, May 31, 2006
by Rose DesRochers
Today's Writing Community
The times are changing. I have come to the conclusion that old fashioned dating is a thing of the past. Today’s youth have turned to casual and random “hook ups."
Teens are in such a hurry to grow up. As the mother of a teen daughter, I have seen this first hand and it is frightening. Parents want the best for their children, but how do we protect them from the unhealthy consequences associated with random hook ups.
In high school, dating has been replaced with random hookups that in turn result in meaningless relationships. What happened to taking things slow and getting to know one another? Young girls feel a need to have a boyfriend. They are unable to be independent. It is low self-esteem along with a need to feel loved by a male figure that leads girls into these unhealthy relationships.
Unlike when I was a teen dating, young men now no longer need to earn a girls respect. There is no longer any courtship. A young lady meets a young man and the next day there already boyfriend and girlfriend. What happened to the date? What happened to dinner and a movie and the hope for that kiss good night.
I guess I've been "out of the dating scene" for a long time. Courtship appears to be dead. What ever happened to the dating that we knew in high school? Girls need to look at Grandma and Grandpa. They are the reality of true love. Honestly though, the person they’ll be spending the rest of their lives with is most likely not going to be found in grade nine.
They may feel that they’re in love, but it is too early to be thinking of making that boy a life partner. There are many more fish in the sea. Teen girls shouldn’t be in such a rush to grow up. These are the years that they should be enjoying life, because one day they are going to wake up and look back on their teen years with regret. They’ll be thirty-seven years old with sagging breasts and a big behind. They will look in the mirror and say, “goodness what happened?" At that very moment they’ll long for the teen years that are now gone.
It’s okay to have crushes, but girls need to forget the steady relationships and if they do find a boy they like, they need to slow down. Take time to get to know him. Teens need to recognize the consequences of random hook ups and not getting to know a person. According to a poll conducted by NBC News and People Magazine nearly 3 in 10 (27%) thirteen to sixteen year-olds are sexually active. While some teens may realize the consequences of being promiscuous, many teens are not taking the measures to protect themselves. Sadly, random hookups represent today's culture, a culture where courtship is dead.
It's a scary thought, but if courtship is dead, what does this say for the future of marriage? Today’s teens will be tomorrow’s adults. Marriage, here today, gone tomorrow.
About the Author:
Rose DesRochers is a published poet and freelance writer. Rose has been writing poetry for more than 20 years. She is also the founder of http://www.todays-woman.net , a supportive online writing community for men and women over 18. She is also the Assistant Administrator of http://www.invision-graphics.com. Visit her blog at http://rosedesrochers.todays-woman.net
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More commentsi do in deed agree with everything...very meaningful advice but i guess i'm an exception 2 the rule because my boyfriend n i started as a hookup n then we became friends n then started dating...we've beenn 2gether for 5 months -jay, 18
Jay, 5 months isn't that long! I agree with a lot of it, which is why I always roll my eyes when I hear teens going "love you so much" blah blah blah - in two weeks time they'll "love" someone else.
yes it was
i did not really like your article. I feel as if you contradicted yourself on a few points and used bad examples.
I don't believe in that statement. You can never be too young to fall in love. Have you never heard of married couples who started dating in school, Or who knew each other all their lives? Who says you have to be over 20 to fall in love? There is no evidence that has proven otherwise. Hookups can be mistakes, or they can be advantages. If you hook up with someone, Like Jay, it CAN turn into a relationship. I think this is a very close-minded article, and i don't think its going to stop me in any future mistakes/oppertunities. All in all, we learn from our mistakes, and if a future hook- up will be a mistake, then that is what it shall be, and we shall learn from it.
Hey lindsay and jessica here! we were just reading your artice and we disagree with several of your points. If you bind love to a certain age group, you might as well bind them to a certain race and gender all the same. Its good to have a variety and I love how this other reader posted that we learn from our mistakes, which is entirely true. I love to see me and my friends learn from our mistakes because one boyfriend after another keeps getting better and better. Love that u took time to write this but its bringing me and other readers down-ish. I'd like to not see so much harshness in responding to these posts! Thanks, the girls
Hey, so I think your wrong. Where Im from most people flirt for a week, date, movies then ya know. If it's a hook up it's purely for the fun of sex. If your daughter got pregnant clearly either the condom ripped and it was bad luck, or she's a bad kid which in a large part is probably cause by her mother. You.
this article helped me open my eyes. im an 18 year old girl and i do have "random hookups" but i came to realize that i should have respect for myself and get to know the guy way more before i actually ... well you know... i deserve a guy who loves me for me and not sex, and i might not find him not but im sure he'll come around :)
Hi everyone,I'm a sixteen year old girl, Annie. Already, I expect that some of you have placed judgment on me because of the age group I fall in, but please hear me out on this. Though I admit that many teenage relationships are unstable, they are the primary experiences that later lead to valuable lessons that help them become a better partner later in life. Everyone stumbles along, and everyone makes mistakes. My peers now are growing up in a different world than their parents did, so they don't see that courtship is dead, because it was never real for them the way it was real for you. Certainly, it hasn't been real to me yet. As for love, it's easy to dismiss teenage love as unreal. And it is also easy to look down upon it and view it as temporary. But these emotions are just as passionate, just as capturing, and just as sincere as that of someone older, even if they may be more short lived. So please, I implore you all, that the next time you want to scoff at a teenager, think about it first. Just because we are younger, does that make love less real?Thank you.
fine
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