Healing Your Grief on Mother's Day
Posted: Monday, April 30, 2007
by Rose DesRochers
Today's Writing Community
It's Mother's Day in heaven, and I miss my mother. I wonder if she knows?
How do we face a day set aside for mothers when the woman who brought us into this world has been taken from this world? If you ask those who have already been down this road, they will tell you that it is a very lonely time. For each of you that will be glowing with smiles, shopping for your mother, and taking her out to your favorite restaurant, there will be those of us whose heart is aching as we remember the last moments spent with our mothers.
My mother always loved roses. She and my father would grow them in the garden and all our neighbors would remark on the beauty of those roses. During my mother's illness, I often took her roses clipped from the rose bush in my yard to the nursing home. When winter rolls around I am saddened that my mother is now gone, but just as winter took her, the first spring bloom of those roses brings her home.
So this Mother's Day, I will delight in the beauty of roses.
This Mother's Day, allow yourself to feel the love and joy of your children. You are not betraying your mother by the feeling of happiness. Your mother would want you to be happy on this day. Remember her laughter. Grief is normal, and there is no easy way to deal with it. Close your eyes and remember your childhood and the happy times that you spent with your mother. Remember the talks and the wisdom she shared, and even remember the fights that you both had when you didn't quite see eye to eye.
Your mother is forever with you. Though there is an empty chair where she use to sit, in your heart she will forever be seated. This Mother's Day, rejoice and smile. Your Mother gave you life, and with that life she taught you many things. The one thing she may not have taught you is how to say goodbye when her time on earth was over. Death is just the passage through a door. It is from one room to the next and from this life to eternal life. Right through the clouds is where your mother is. She is in the beauty of roses that bloom.
Remember your mother this Mother's Day. Mourn in her death, but rejoice in her rebirth.
I will never be able to write anything that matches the love my mother had for me, but may my love for her be found within the wisdom of the words that I share with all of you this Mother's Day.
1-800, I'm calling Heaven's operator. Please patch through a call to our mothers and wish them a Happy Mother's Day from their children here on earth.
About the Author: Rose DesRochers is the founder of Blogger Talk Blog Community http://www.bloggertalk.net, a friendly fast growing blogging portal, offering bloggers support, advice, tools, tips and information about blogs and blogging. She is also the administrator of Today's Writing Community http://www.todayswriting.com, a supportive online writing community for men and women over 18. Visit her blog at Rose DesRochers- World outside my window.
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More commentsWhen my dad passed away in the year 2000 three days before his 45th birthday (I adored him, we were best friends), I thought that nothing in this world could be worse than loosing my loved dad. But when not even two years later, my mom passed away (her dead took us by surprise), that was the sadnest and emptiest feeling in the world, is like a part of you inside dies. The first mother's day after that was very painful, nothing compares to that. Nearly six years of her dead I am still sad, specially when is mother's day, but now, I have learned that the best way to handle the pain, is to celebrate her life, speaking about the good things,good memories, all what my mother thought me, the healing is very slow, but at least I can turn a little bit the sadness into happy memories. Analucia - Slovakia
My mother passed 15 years ago at the age of 63. She was a role model for all people and taught me the most important lessons of life. I was her only son and I have a sister who also misses her very much especially on Mother's Day. My mother would have agreed with your comments Rose as she had a garden full of beautiful roses. She loved music, sunsets, animals, and her family. She worked as a record company executive assistant and a teacher of students with special needs. She loved a good joke and when I get sad I remember one of her jokes and can picture her laughing along. Thank you for creating this website as I have found it to be comforting and inspiring on this Mother's Day. Terry - California
My mom died December 19, 2008 and I am dreading Mother's Day. She was my best friend and I'm struggling with going on without her. She was only 51 years old and I feel like life has cheated me. Your article really helps during this sad time in my life. I will try my best to remember all of the good times and pass them on to my children. Thanks a bunch
Mother's Day certainly isn't easy. It stirs up the "emptiness" we feel inside. We can't change death, but we can certainly cherish the memories.
Thank you for writing and sharing. We heal together. I am blessed to still have my mom. Reading the emotions and grieving of those whose mother's have gone to Heaven make me realize even more how precious EVERY moment is. My Husband lost his mother before we met. He hurts everyday. I am looking forward to celebrating his mother this Mother's Day! Thank you! God Bless and be with you :)
it has helped me i miss my mum every day of the year. its hard to be out and about seeing others buying mothers day pressies bit life does on. They tell me time heals everything, tell me what length is time
I lost my Mother, 7 weeks and 1 day ago. Her death was sudden (massive heart attack)There's a big hole in my heart, but I know she loved me with all of hers. I wouldn't want my worst enemy to feel this kind of pain. She's with my Grandmother now, so her 21 year yearning to see her Mother again, has ended. I try not to think of the ending, but to comfort myself in knowing that she's no longer struggling, she's no longer lonely, and she can see me and her Grandchildren all she wants now. I left for the military in '88, and outside of '89, I can't even remember the last Mother's Day I spent with her, but I do remember staying on the phone with her for hours, from that point on. I love you, Lilly...more than words can say.
I understand how you men and women feel. I am a 58 yr old woman, my mom passed away 7 months ago. she was buried on her 84 birthday. she had a heart attack too. I struggle everyday trying to figure out what I could have done to save her. doctors said she went peacfuly in her sleep. bless jesus for this. I can't stand the days nor the nights knowing I don't have her anymore. I can't say it's getting any easier at this time in my life but it being close to mothers day will be a horrible day for me.... My precious Dear Mother...I love you so...
my mom died nov 2008 when i was 21 and she was 59 - this is my second MD without her and I'm going to spend it with my other motherless friends and have a day of celebration and remembrance. Although my heart aches at each Mothers Day advertisement on the radio and television, I can't wait until I'm the mother being celebrated. i love you mom - I'll see you again
My momma passed away 6 months ago tomorrow at the age of 66 after a long time of suffering with cancer. I have been dreading this Mother's Day as it is my first without my momma. For some reason it really hit me hard today. I have learned that holidays are not always happy for everyone as this one will be very bittersweet. I know that she in now in heaven and that God will bless her with the best Mother's Day ever for the wonderful life she laid down for her very own children. My heart breaks with all of you who continue to grieve . . . if you still have your momma hug her, listen to every word, and tell her that you love her!
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